| Tune in here each week during the season for game results, breakdowns, rivalries and the Weekly Rankings!!! |
| Yep, its been a WHILE!! The wonderful Christmas season and its 16hr work days meant we had to cut back on updates a bit and since December is also fantasy NFL Playoff time, it was those sites that got the love. But no more!! Now its all NBA all the time! So, what did we miss you ask? Well, in the trade arena....surprisingly little. There were a few deals of note and those reviews are now up but as far as blockbusters go....zip. Either owners are satisfied with their teams..or ya'll are lazy good-for-nothings who don't really care to get better!! Lets see more deals! ******* So, no one is dealing. But has anyone made a big move up...or down...the standings when compared to last year? The answer there is yes! On the upward trend we have quite a few teams to brag about. The big mover in The East seems to be Miami. This was a team that managed only 36 wins all of last year yet so far this season they are already to the 25 win mark. 36 should be easy to eclipse, maybe even before the All-Star break. Miami is a team that basically makes NO moves other then to hang onto what they've got and hope it pans out. Well, so far so good in 10/11. In The West there are a few others who have jumped up the standings. First off we have The Blazers. They were a very impressive 62 win team last season so any improvement would only serve to vault them even higher. Well, they currently sit atop the entire league with a 33-3 record. The Blazers have made a few moves this season but are another team that doesn't like to change things up much. Injuries have been a bit of an issue but so far, The Trailblazers look almost unstoppable. Another team on the rise in the West is NOT a team you would expect. After all, The Jazz have never been a threat...to ANYONE! But that may be changing. Oh sure they are still a team that is never injury free (And with Yao how could you be). But after winning just 8 games last year, The jazz have already eclipsed that mark with 13 so far this year. The Playoffs are probably not in their future but with Blake Griffin and Dwight Howard on the same roster, The Jazz are no longer a team to be overlooked. ****** So those are a few teams on the rise. We have several squads holding steady from what they did a year ago, but there are also a startling amount of teams falling off the map! In The East, one name sticks out from all the others. The New York Knicks. While the NBA Knicks seem to be becoming relevant again, The BW NBA Knicks are anything but. The Rocks team has fallen...HARD. After winning 39 a year ago, this NY squad sits at just 5 total wins this year! NY normally makes all kinds of trades during the year but so far its been just couple deals done. The other problem here is this is a team with a lot of very young, or very old talent. And by the time those youngins can help, the old may be to old to help at all. The West isn't without their underachivers though. Take the Mavs. Last year The Mavericks won 44 games and looked to be headed in the right direction. Now, they just look...beheaded. 9 wins is the mark so far and it doesn't look to be getting any better. LeBron and Amare are good...but they can't do this alone. Those would be the names of the teams that need help. But there is one team falling faster than The Houston Rockets Neilsen Ratings. And thats, The San Antonio Spurs. Its like their owner has just given up! After two season of being the best in the league with 70+ wins a year, The Spurs are a lowly 17-19 this season. Robin is still making moves, but this team may just be past its prime and too injury prone. The Spurs may still make The Playoffs this year..but rebuilding time..is now! ********** The Rankings!!! [3] 1- Portland Trailblazers 9The best team in the league thusfar) [2] 2- Washington Bullets (A model of consistency) [1] 3- Phoenix Suns (Still a contendor) [4] 4- Miami Heat (Injured but still tough) [7] 5- Brooklyn Nets (Much better than their last rank) [8] 6- Seattle Supersonics (Break up The Sonics??) [6] 7- Pittsburgh Pipers (Only 5 games behind Washington) [5] 8- LA Lakers (Struggling a little) [10] 9- Minnesota Muskies (Falling behind the East leaders) [11] 10- OKC Thunder (Not exactly keeping up) [9] 11- San Antonio Spurs (Their lowest rank...ever??) [14] 12- Utah Jazz (Their highest rank...ever?? (jst kidding!)) [15] 13- Dallas Mavericks (Barely alive) [16] 14- Clev...Orlando Magic (The move has helped very little) [13] 15- New York Knicks (Well, at least The Rock is silent) [12] 16- Chicago Bulls (Basement......for a long time) |
| The Playoffs are here.....We could say how exciting it is, or how magical or blah blah blah.....screw that lets just Get Right To It!!!! ************** The Game- #1 West Seed (70-10)- San Antonio Spurs VS #4 West Seed (45-35)- Phoenix Suns The Story- 19-21. That was the record that The World Champion Suns had just ten weeks ago. It was ugly, it was pitiful, it was..over. Fast forward ten more weeks though and those same pitiful World Champs have made it to The Playoffs! A very strong finish to the year had The Suns juuust edging out The Dallas Mavericks (by a single game). The only trouble is....Phoenix is coming up against perhaps the best team this league will ever see. Ahh The Spurs. SEVENTY wins and FORTY...F...O..U..R..T..Y, in a row. This is a team that is unlike any other. Really, they have no superstar(s). Kidd is great aaand Camby is nice too. But there is no LeBron, or Kobe. No Dwight or Deron, not even a Curry or Tyreke. Nope, this is just a team of good players..that flat out put up numbers. And guess what else......in a game that really is all about you...YOUR team, YOUR wins, YOUR title hopes, The Spurs...are actually fun to watch even if you aren't their owner! (We plan to submit our resume to at least be their GM come next year!). The Result- We would like to see a great game between the last Champs and the new ones (did we just spoil our pick?) but it just doesn't look like it'll happen. The Spurs are already up by 100+ and it could get worse...fast. Our pick? San Antonio The margin? The Spurs will win by 200+. ********************* The Game- #2 West Seed (63-17)- OKC Thunder VS #3 West Seed (58-22)- Portland Trailblazers The Story- Portland has gone to The Playoffs in every (all two of em) season of BW NBA and this year they improved by 10 wins, not a small feat. The Thunder on the other hand have jumped by 15 wins and have made even more noise. Unlike the heroic Spurs, BOTH of these teams come with some pretty big names. Granger, Baron, and ZBo are all superstars for The Blazers while Nash and Dirk call OKC home. The biggest name NOT to matter in this game though...CP3. Paul has been out with his knee injury for quite some time and he's getting close to coming back. Trouble is, he won't be back this week and may not even next week. The Result- This will be a very good game and really either team could get the win, but we're here to TELL you who will win it and Our Pick is? San Antoni......just kidding. Portland takes it. The Margin? We'll say Portland wins by 72. ********************** The Game- #1 East Seed (49-31)- Pittsburgh Pipers VS #4 East Seed (39-41)- New York Knicks The Story- Yikes!! This is the best The East has to offer?? In The West The Pipers would have finished with the 4th Seed and The Knicks...HA no chance! With Deron and Iguodala, The Knicks do have some nice studs but they will come up against the likes of Pau, Ellis, Boozer Bosh and Jennings in Pittsburgh. The Commish has already written this game off as OVER and it may very well be. Its just too bad that No One in the East can really compete with the best in The West. The Result- Yeah, The Knicks don't have much of a shot but at least these Knicks made The Playoffs unlike their NBA counterparts. Our Pick? The Pipers. The Margin? Pittsburgh by 168. *********************** The Game- #2 East Seed (47-33)- Washigton Bullets VS #3 East Seed (43-37)- Brooklyn Nets The Story- The Bullets got better this year, while The Nets got worse. The big names here? Big Ben, Tony Parker, Anthony Randolph and Derrick Rose. Why them? because that's the list of good to great players that The Nets will be without this week. When healthy those name are combined with guys like Melo, Wade and Gay to form a very formidable list of playas but this week its just those three studs trying to keep The Nets alive. meanwhile, The Bullets come in with Bogut, Al Jeff and Tyreke leading the way. Yes missing Stuckey and Arenas hurts but it may not hurt as much as what The Nets are missing. The Result- Ahh what the hell..Our Pick? BROOKLYN takes it!! Why? Its Melo and D Wade!! The Margin? Um, The Nets win by 13! *********************** So there they are, our pick for just who will move on to the Division Finals! So, who will win those games you ask. Well Pipers VS Brookyln? Pipers win to become The Eastern Division Champs! Spurs VS Portland? Portland....wins. Yeah, Thats right...Portland. Deal with it. Think we're nuts? Stay Tuned.... |
| We ....are...BACK!! |
| Ohhhh boy. It didn;t really happen did it? On and done for Robin Hood? You can blame luck but we'll chalk it up to his studs...being old duds on the verge of total collapse. And hey, thats just what happened last week. When the update broke on Tuesday, we got an email from Mr. Hood. In that email Robinson wondered where the respect was. 70-10 record. 40 game winning streak. We said The Spurs would lose to a team they had trounced 5 out of 6 times. Well.....The Spurs want respect...gotta EARN it. All San Antonio has done in the BW NBA Playoffs? Choke. Just like my beloved Knicks when Reggie is in town...The Spurs just can't beat The Suns when it matters MOST. Last year, the eventual Champion Suns won 1408-1393. An incredible game, just like this years where The Suns would again prevail 1494-1478. Maybe next year Robin Hood can make it past Phoenix...but we doubt it. ***** But The Spurs were not the only team to go down by just a scant few points. OKC VS Portland was another amazing contest. We missed bad on our pick in the first game but this one we got right...barely. We called The Blazers winners and indeed they took the game but it was a win by about as little as you can get. Blazers 1560, Thunder- 1539. ***** So we're 1-1, can we go 2-1? Nets VS Bullets is yet another Round One game that was just amazing. We thought it'd be the Nets moving on and....we were wrong. Even with Tyreke getting dinged up, The Bullets would be the team moving on 1388-1352. So, you know what that means? That means that three of the four Round One games were lost by fewer than 75 points combined! ***** The final game though....was lost by over FIVE times that much. The Knicks made The Playoffs. Thats good. But they got totally, and absolutely TROUCED. The Pipers are good, but last week they looked like the best in the league. Their 1719 total would have beaten any other team by quite a bit. On the flip side, The Knicks measly 1294 would have...lost to any other team. Put the two together and you have one...ugly...loss for NY and one killer win for Pittsburgh. ********************************* The Game- #3 West Seed- Portland Trailblazers VS #4 West Seed- Phoenix Suns The Story- Lost in the big ol loss by The Spurs was the BIG ol WIN by The Suns. Early in the year we (along with everyone else) wrote Phoenix off as a fallen Champion. Fast forward a few months and we find the ruined Champs....near the Title game. We know the stars, so lets look at the rest. For Phoenix there are only a few injuries though Lou Will being out hurts for sure. Portland on the other hand is without Biedrins of course and Chandler is also done for at least another week. As far as "games played" both teams are pretty close there. The Result- Well, We went against The Suns once, we won't make that same mistake again. Our Pick? Phoenix. The Margin? The Suns win by about 75. ***** The Game- #1 East Seed- Pittsburgh Pipers VS #2 East Seed- Washington Bullets The Story- Now THIS is more like it! Leave it to the lowly East to send their top two seeds to the Semi's. Injuries? Well, The Bullets are still without Mr. Zero. But Tyreke and Haslem going down really hurts. For The Pipers, um. Uh. Rudy Fernandez is a lil banged up. Other than that, they're good. Both teams are weak on the 23rd and 25th but The Bullets may be a little worse off overall.....a little. The Result- Well the Washington Bullets are up now, and by over 100. Hmm. We'll say The Pipers come back but it'll be rough. Our Pick? The Pipers win. The Margin? Another close one, 25-50. ****** So it will come down to The World Champion Suns VS The Eastern Champion Pipers. Title number Two will end up in Phoenix. Could we be wrong....sure. But one thing is for sure, San Atnonio...is done, for this year AND next. |
| Robin Hood and his Spurs go from legendary to ...not so much.......yeah, he had it coming |
| We're a bit late to the party with Update #1 but who cares! Its a long season! Three weeks in and, so far The Ranks are holding up fairly well. We ranked last years champs as 2nd and so far, The Blazers are 10-2 and sitting in 3rd place overall. If Baron could get healthy it would help, but this team has enough depth that it doesn't really matter until Playoff time. *** We named The Bullets as the Champion for this year and at the moment they are on top in The East with an 11-1 record. Here, the dinged up players DO matter as names like Bogut, Tyreke and Jeff Green are all hobbled. Once totally healthy, this team will roll...um..even more. **** As for The Nets, they were named (begrudgingly) as a top 3 team in the Pre-Season but so far, they have disappointed some. Not many big injuries here, the Nets just may not be as good as we thought they were...so sad. Still it IS a long season and maybe Delgado can get to double digit wins soon. *** The big surprise so far must be Phoenix! We had them pegged as a top 5 squad but so far its been all Gravy for the 08/09 Champs and they are the ONLY team that remains unbeaten. We'll bet good money they don't win em all but this team could..could actually be the best in the league, and thats WITH Iggy hurting! *** Elsewhere, The Ranks hold up fairly well so far. yeah, we probably had The Spurs to low but that just motivates their owner every year (and trust us, he NEEDS it!) Also sad that it looks like we had The Mavs ranked to high! If there is one owner who needs to be motivated its DAN!! Too bad he only cares about the teams that get out to a fast start..so sad...so sad. And lastly, maybe The Cavs were ranked to high as well as they are the only team left without a W. So thats a quick look at the past....what about the present? ********** The Rankings!!! 1- Phoenix Suns (Unbeaten and may stay that way for a while) 2- Washington Bullets (Alone at the top of The East) 3- Portland Trailblazers (two games behind Phoenix) 4- Mimai Heat (Better than their NBA counterpart) 5- LA Lakers (Not quite as good as their NBA counterpart) 6- Pittsburgh Pipers (Better than Brooklyn?) 7- Brooklyn Nets (Not far back..but still mid-pack in The East) 8- Seattle Supersonics (Love will keep this team in the hunt all year) 9- San Antonio Spurs (Better than this....right?) 10- Minnesota Muskies (Struggling early on....may see some growing pains for a while) 11- OKC Thunder (Not sure what the problem is here) 12- Chicago Bulls (...A weak bench..thats the problem here) 13- New York Knicks (REALLY young...perhaps too young) 14- Utah Jazz (Outmatched at almost every turn.....but Griffin keeps them relevant) 15- Dallas Mavericks (Sad Dan..real Sad) 16- Cleveland Cavaliers (But not THIS sad) |
| We are only three weeks in...but how do The Ranks look so far? |
| ***12-30-10*** |
| What in the BLUE HELL is going on here!!! Owners getting kicked, teams making CRAZY deals and the league is in an UPROAR!!! So why is this so funny?? Because there is little reason for the insanity! Why do I say that? Simple, the trades were NOT that bad. (OMG...boot me from the league!) *** Head over to Trade Talks and see for yourself....EVERY nutty deal of the past week has been reviewed...and yes those Reviews are FINAL! Took a while to do em so thats the reason for this shortish update but first....lets solve EVERY league problem in one nice little package. *** Are you ready for it? Are you sure? We will give ya one more chance to hit the back button because this really is the best..most perfect solution EVER. Ok...last chance. Solution in.... 3..... 2..... 1...... Add a league prize. Thats it, that simple. Why? Because a league prize will increase the amount everyone will have to pay....and what will that do? It will ENSURE that EVERY TEAM IN THE LEAGUE has a huge interest in getting better. Bottom teams will be FIGHTING top get better and top teams will be desperate to stay there. No collusion, no dead owners. Pay more.....League winner gets a prize, runner up gets a prize and Dan Oneill gets a prize just for being himself. Whew...its tough finalizing all these trades, solving all these problems AND keeping Cole in his padded room and sedated (that last one got away from us earlier..sorry). *** So, hit up trade talks and check the deals. Hit up the new page (button on the home page) and see what teams own what picks. Check your ranking. And Know Your Roles...and SHUT YOUR MOUTHS!! ********** The Rankings!!! [1] 1- Portland Trailblazers (Still the best with just 4 total osses) [2] 2- Washington Bullets (Getting even better) [3] 3- Phoenix Suns (Only 2 games behind the mighty Blazers) [6] 4- Seattle Supersonics (Breaking through the top 5...could top 3 be next? (NAH!)) [5] 5- Brooklyn Nets (Just a hair behind The Bullets) [4] 6- Miami Heat (Rough week) [7] 7- Pittsburgh Pipers (Could....could....could be the best team in the Division soon) [11] 8- San Antonio Spurs (Waking up?) [8] 9- LA Lakers (Still around .500) [12] 10- Utah Jazz (No longer a doormat) [9] 11- Minnesota Muskies (Falling behind) [10] 12- OKC Thunder (Gonna be BAD the rest of the year) [13] 13- Dallas Mavs (Long raod to the playoffs) [14] 14- Orlando Magic (Already getting better) [15] 15- New York Knicks (Not looking good) [16] 16- Chicago bulls (Quiet..and...sad...) And yes this reallyIS what Gerry looks like!!---- ....and no, we don't really have Dans moms Phone Number....maybe next week. |
| ok...ok...STOP IT with all the fighting!!!! |
| ***1-11-11*** |
| Parity please? Really, come on, this is getting BAD. The line between the Haves and the Have Nots is growing, and soon, we may know exactly who is going to The Playoffs, before the All Star break! Lets see just who is in, who is out and who is done ALREADY! Starting in The East we have four teams, Brooklyn, Washington, Pittsburgh and Miami in the top spots. Between those teams we do indeed have parity. Brooklyn leads at 38-14 but both Miami and Pittsburgh sit just 5 games back at 33-19. The seeding could change at any time, but, other than that, it may already be fact that its those teams going to The Playoffs. *** Why? Because the bottom four in The East range anywhere from way behind, to totally dead! Minnesota may still be in the hunt, but at 9 games behind the 4th place team, its already looking bleak. The Muskies are on a five game winning streak but they'll need to stay hot and hope for a dry spell from Miami or Pittsburgh for a shot. As for the rest.....Chicago, New York and Orlando have combined for ....ready.....21 wins. Thats just sad and as of now all three of these teams are dead. As for NY and Orlando..they are particularly dissapointing. ***** So what about The West? Well, the bottom teams here are WAY better than the bottom in The East, but the problem is, the top teams are that much better too. Portland, Phoenix, Seattle and San Antonio are the current top four with Dallas, LA, Utah and OKC in the bottom spots. The bottom three in The West have a total of 53 wins (32 more than the bottom in The East). Thats good. The trouble is, the top three in The East have a combined 108 wins. Top three in The West? 128, 20 more wins. The result, the bottom team out West, same boat as The East. San Antonio is in 4th with a 29-23 record. Their closest competition is a tie between The Jazz and The Lakers at 20-32. Another 9 game deficit. In addition, The Spurs have won 4 straight while LA has lost 8 in a row and Utah is on a 3 game losing streak. *** We're not saying its all bad, but some Playoff races that didn't just involve seeding would be nice. Of those teams that are way outside those top four spots, we could see Minnesota making a run in The East so we'll keep an eye on that. Out West, The Lakers are done now and will not be challenging for a Playoff spot. As for Utah, we would have said there is no way one man could bring a team from total irrelevance to a Playoff spot in one year....but we've never seen anyone like Blake Griffin in recent memory. Still, even with Super-Blake, Utah will be hard pressed to catch up with the leaders. ......But we'll still keep an eye on em just the same. ********* The Rankings!!! [1] 1- Portland Trailblazers (Not giving up this spot any time soon) [3] 2- Phoenix Suns (They already have one banner......now they want another) [5] 3- Brooklyn Nets (Back to being the best in The East) [4] 4- Seattle Supersonics (We say they are 4th overall....but that still has em in 3rd out West) [2] 5- Washington Bullets (Rough couple of weeks) [6] 6- Maimi Heat (Struggling a little..but will still make The Playoffs) [7] 7- Pittsburgh Pipers (....ditto) [8] 8- San Antonio Spurs (Still getting better....could be top 3 in The West before too long) [11] 9- Minnesota Muskies (Trying to stay in it) [10] 10- Utah Jazz (12 games below .500...........still good enough for 10th in the league) 11-16 LA, OKC, Dallas, NY, Chicago AND Orlando.............NONE of these teams matter!! Give us a BREAK! |
| 8 Good teams.....8 almost totally useless ones. BORING |
| ***1-26-11*** |
| Well its been a few weeks since the last "official" update so we're back...for one. Trouble is, is there really anything to be updated? Last time we went over the 8 "haves" vs the 8 "have nots". Fast forward and we are still know for sure which teams will make the Playoffs. It seems like it might be neat to then go over those playoff teams and see just who might come out on top. But there is a problem there as well. This league seems to be made up of some very definable groups. Eight useless teams at the bottom. Six good teams in the middle, and Phoenix and Portland so far out in front its silly. So really, what is there to write about?? Ah ha!! Portland....Phoenix, just which team will go farther?! *** Phoenix and Portland. Hmmm. Where have we seen those names before? Oh yeah! The Suns took the BW Title in 2009, and in 2010, it was The Blazers. Wouldn't it be just perfect for the third Championship in league history to come down to a battle between these two teams? Well to bad!! They play in the same division so a Finals matchup is out....BUT.....just like the early 2000's when the Western Conference Finals were the real Finals, in BW NBA The West Division Champ WILL BE the 2011 BW Champion. *** So then just who would come away with the W if....ha...."if"...we meant WHEN they meet for the west Title. Its a tougher question than it looks like because these two teams are TOTALLY different. On the one side you have The Suns, a team loaded with studs. Deron, Wade, Amare and Smoove are all here. On the other side we have Portland who has some big names but studs? Baron? Maybe 3 years ago. Randolph? Put his name next to Wades on the marquee and see which gets more attention. Devin Harris? Sorry. Granger? Maybe, perhaps, but even saying that means he's no stud right? Bargnani, Blatche, Conley. All of these are nice names but none are really "studs" like we think of them. Ok, Westbrook, stud, period. *** Who wins the game then? Easy. Portland. Oh it will be a great game but in the end Portland takes it. Why? Because they have one stud, and a whole truck load of guys who are just a breath below that level. All of those names we mentioned and we still left out Odom, Chandler and Eric Gordon! Hell, this team should be glad Gooden is still out cause when he comes back...who do they drop! Don't get us wrong, the Suns have a solid bench but you compare the two and its just not close. In the end, the stars will shine and Phoenix would surely win a dunk contest, but the game? Thats Portland's, as is the Title. yeah yeah Brooklyn or Washington may get to play Portland but it will be just a formality. *************** The Rankings!!! [Last Update] [1] 1- Portland Trailblazers (Lock it in...this team will be #1 until....at least November...) [2] 2- Phoenix Suns (No way they catch Portland....right?) [5] 3- Washington Bullets (Already just 3 wins behind last years total) [3] 4- Brooklyn Nets (Dog fight for the top spot in the East) [7] 5- Pittsburgh Pipers (Strong team..but not close to leading their division) [8] 6- San Antonio Spurs (Same record as the team above, but even further back of their division leaders) [4] 7- Seattle Supersonics (Falling off?) [6] 8- Miami Heat (Playoff team for sure) [9] 9- Minnesota Muskies- Just too far behind) [10] 10- Utah Jazz (They would sell tickets....but they ain't making The Playoffs) 11-16......The rest of ya...STILL SUCK!!! |
| ***2-16-11*** |
| One of these teams WILL win their second Title..so..who will it be?? |
| FINALLY...The Rock, HAS COME BACK, to the BW Playoffs!! Which means that FINALLY, The Rock..HAS COME BACK....to Electrify!!! And it has, indeed been a long time since we have had a good Update but the simple fact of the matter is.....THE most BORING league this side of Insanity just...didn't...deserve an update. Oh sure, you had a team or two with an impressive record but really, it was a league of playoff teams, and non playoff teams and we ALL knew which was which before the start of 2011!! So, why is The Rock here? After all, his ass got whipped from Pillar to Post this season and he did NOT make it to the playoffs.....but he is..GOING to the playoffs. Why? Because without The Rock these would be the weakest, the lamest, and without a shadow of a doubt, THE most UN-electrifying playoffs of all time!! and because One Man....made sure The Rock would come... So out went the call. First it was that pile of monkey crap himself...Delgado. The Rocks phone rang, and when he picked it up...there was that voice, THAT VOICE!! Like Gilbert Godfrey crossed with Al Pacino! Luckily here it is only text, but...you can imagine. As far as the call itself..it went a little something...like this.... *** Delgado- "Hey Rock...ROOOOOCK! I don't know what to do!" Rocky- "Calm down calm down..take it down an octave or two." CD- "I...I just am not sure what to do. You see, I always make The Playoffs, and I always have a good team, but I will never...EVER win a Title. So...So..should I talk some garbaaaaaage or not?" Rock- "Well, first of all its talk "trash" you sick ffffreak! And second, no, we have all seen your Playoff failures before so its nothing new and the world is used to it." CD- "Well...um...could you talk some trash for me??" Rock- "Know Your Role and SHUT Your Mouth!! Hell No The Rock won't talk some trash for you. Now go get that fantasy cribbage cheat sheet ready because your draft is next week!" *** After that The Rock thought he could go back to relaxing but NO. The phone rang...again. Rock- "Hello?" ??- "Um. Hi...Hello. I mean...Hi. You...You don't know me really. Well...Kinda..sorta..maybe. but..But.." Rock "WHO...In the Blue Hell..IS THIS???" ??- "Um, well. I'm a little shy and introverted. But...I always make The Playoffs at least....kinda." Rock- "Is this Delgado talking through one of those voice changers that makes you sound like a girl? the Rock already said no!" ??- "A...Actually...its um...well....Rob. Robin Hood." Rock- "Well, well, well. Lil Robin! The Rock hasn't heard from you in AGES! Aren't you the one with the always amazing regular season who can't do CRAP in the postseason?" Robin- .......click. *** It was at this VERY Moment...that FAR away, in the middle of nowhere, as far away from society and technology as you can GET! ...That the most important man in BW NBA was down on his KNEES...praying for a solution..... Tim...Cole- "Oh dear God. I'm The Commissioner of BW NBA, but I have a problem. See, my league is boring and...well...as a commish I absolutely SUCK!!! IS there anything I can do?" ......then suddenly, the ground began to shake, the heavens opened up and God himself spoke to Cole! God- "What is it that you ask for?" Cole- "Well, I need help, I need someone to save the league." God- "You seek....The Great One. The Braham Bull. You need....The Rock." Cole- "I know but, I'm so shy and really....out here...I have no internet, or phones, or really anything that matters in the real world besides a whole heaping helping of...corn." God- "Well Timothy, you must find a way to reach him..." Cole- "But God...my...my names not Timothy its Timmy and...." God- "IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!!!!" And the thunder cracked and lil Timmy crawled right back under that Ohio State blanky and cried himself to sleep. So you see, time after time they tried and time after time..they all FAILED to get The Rock to come back for the playoffs. No, not one succeeded. Until..... *** *Ring*Ring* Rock-"Cyndi Lauper? Why on Earth does the caller ID say Cyndi Lauper? ....Hello?" ??- "Hiiieeeeee Rocky!!! Tee Hee...that Rhymed!!" Rock- "And just who..is This Roody Poo?" ??- "Oh come on silleeee...you don't recognize me?!?" Rock- "Should The Rock?" ??-" Its Meeeee!! Dan! Danny Oneill....y!" Rock- "You have GOT to be kidding The Rock." Dan- "Nope this is it...MEEEEE YAY!! I just figured I had to call this time because my problyoblem is so URGET!!" Rock- "But. But. The Rock thought you were different. The Rock thought you might just be the ONLY ONE who could actually come to a verbal battle actually...you know...armed!" Dan- "Oh silleeee Rock...Gerry Nason writes all of my material!! I'm just a fantasy Sports Fanboi and I like to play but he does all the real talking and decision making for ALL my teams!! He doesn't even know I gave you a ringydingding!" Rock- "Oh.....Hell....No." Dan- "Anyhoooo....Gerry let me run a team for a year for once..and the result is my team in BW NBA. I know its really poopy but I did my best. I have OJ Mayo!! Hes funny..like a grocery list! I know I could never make the playoffs on my own but since it IS the only league that I have really run my own team in...I wanted someone really..well...talky...to be able to join in so the league wasn't so boring! I'm looking for Facebook but all Cole gives me is My Space!!" Rock- "I...uh...I don't know what...to say." Dan- Well, say you'll be a darling and do it...cause if you don't...I'll just keep calling!" Rock- "OK OK!! The Rock will do it...he will go to the BW Playoffs!! But please...and The Rock means PLEASE...Never call here again!!!" *** ...So you see, it was one ma....um...person who brought The Rock here today, and for the rest of the BW Playoffs it will be The Rock to make the picks and let The WORLD know just who are the Can-Do's and who are the Roody-Poo's!! Since The Playoffs have already begun, lets take a look.....no sugar coating it, no team analyzing, this will just be straight up, who will win. And Why! *** First off we have Seattle and...Portland and The Rock can tell you right now that Seattle will NOT be winning a Title any time soon. Oh the team is not bad but come one..Stirckler...as Champion? Right. As for Portland? Yeah they're good yeah they'll win and yeah they'll go far. But a repeat? Not so fast. Next we haaaave....AH The "Commish" VS Robin of the Hood. Easy Robin just doesn't win in The Playoffs. Doesn't matter who the team is. He could play against a team of Ginobili, Boykins, Juwan Hoard and Roy Halladay and he would still find a way to mess it up! Plus he is playing against this years Champion. How does The Rock know this? Easy, he's the commish..he has full league access...its COLE!! Only way he could realistically hold a donkeys chance in hell? He cheats! Moving on we have Pittsburgh and Brooklyn. Yeah Delgado will find a way to win this one. After all, wouldn't be as funny if he lost this soon. No no..it will be much better for The Rock to report on how he makes it all the way to the semi finals...then gets TROUNCED!! And Finally..we have Miami aaaaand Washington. Is it just The Rock or are half these teams so boring we don't even know who owns them?? No The Rock doesn't mean you Sean. What would a league be without the mind reader himself! "You will trade me Dwight Howard for Greg Oden......" Click, trade made, Sean wins again. Luckily his powers were weak this year and he is gonna go down...against..Miami. Who in The BLUE HELL even runs that team?!?! *** So there you have it, full breakdowns of each game with the winners all named, even the eventual league Champion! So with that The Rock will sign out for now but... *** *Ring*Ring* ..Damn it Rock- "Hello?" L- "Yo Rock...its Lou or Louie or Louis or Luis or Lewis or whatever they're calling me today! I was wondering if..." Rock- ...Click. *** Where was The Rock. Oh yes, So now you have the breakdowns and best of all..you have..for the duration of The Playoffs...THE Most Electrifying Man in Fantasy Entertainment toady....The Peoples Champion...The Rock!! IF YA SMELLLLLLL What The Rock...IS COOKIN!!! |
| ***3-15-11*** |
| FI |
| FINALLY!!!! The Rock HAS COME BACK!!! Well, The Rock must admit, for a moment, the league was actually no longer boring!! There is only one problem though, the boring was replaced with just plain boorish! Now The Rock won't claim to be the most eloquent speaker on the planet nor will he claim to be the most creative (but he sure is DAMN close)......but is THAT the best you all can do? ***** Now The Rock is understanding to all of those who are exposed to Dan Oniell. He is a very....ahem....unique individual. He can confuse the simplest of rules or statements and then ready himself for all out WAR rather than admit his mistake. But...most of the drivel that went on was just that..drivel. The Richard Simmons talk? That mildly amused The Peoples Champion but after that the conversation degraded into nothing more than a PISSING contest!! Let The Rock assure you all....Oneill....Torode...Lou...Pat and the rest of you Candyasses....no one...and The Rock means, NO ONE gives a damn where you work, what you make, what kind of 35 cent suit you decide to put on or what you pack in your little brown bag for lunch every day!! "I wear a 3 piece suit." "I wear a 2 piece suit." AHHH Shut Your MOUTHS before The Rock shoves your suits so far up your asses that you're both spitting camels hair!! ***** And really? Back alley abortion talk? The Rock does NOT mind shock value, but it wasn't even mildly humorous. Just two little Jabroni's lashing out at each other...FROM THEIR IPODS NO LESS!! First, take the time to put something rational down and second....so HELP The Rock....PUT, your little i-appendage, DOWN!! ***** Now, on to The Playoffs! Time for a game by game breakdown! First off we had Seattle and Portland. The Rock said that Strickler would NEVER EEEEEEver be Champion. Well, The Rock, was right. Moving on, The Peoples Champ said that Phoenix would "somehow" make it past Robin Hood. mainly because Robin wins about as much in The Playoffs as Dan does in the boardroom...that is to say, not often. Suns win..big surprise, The Commish moves on. Next we had Pittsburgh and Brooklyn. And FINALLY, we had an actual game too. At least one Playoff game was intriguing. Both teams Brought It and both went as far as they could. This one The Rock got wrong, but its ok, The Rock doesn't mind. Now, Delgado is just gone all the faster. the Rock knew he would lose.....The Rock just thought he could make it a little longer than this. Lastly it was Miami and Washington. Miami wins, boring game, Rocky called it. Now we go to The Semi-Finals and The Rock promises to be spot on in these...easy...picks. Phoenix will take on Portland and yes by some "miracle" they will overcome the early week deficit and win. Oh joy. Cole wins. Big surprise yet again. Then its Pittsburgh and Miami. Clifton in the Finals? Yeah that sounds about right. That way he can take the opportunity to break his yearly silence and brag for a few seconds about how he is the greatest of all time yabbayabbayabbba. The Playoffs will roll on, but it looks like the only good game, will have come in round 1.......just sad...and...BORING. IF YA SMELLLLL, What The Rock IS COOKIN!!! |
| ***3-22-11*** |
| FI |